Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The Good, The Bad, The Facebook

     I will be the first to say that I know I am not a perfect mother.  Now that I have said that, let me say that I am comfortable in the way I parent.  I don't sit back and question everything that I am doing.  I do what I feel is right.  I may try overly hard to please some people (yes, you honey!), but I am also very honest with how I do things (as if you couldn't tell by my previous post).  I will say thank goodness I was not connected to Facebook when I was pregnant with my first child!

     Now, don't get me wrong, Facebook has its' good aspects.  It connects people from all over the country and world who have similar interests.  Heck, I am friends with people I have never met in person.  Plus, I get to see how everyone that I went to school with is doing.  I enjoy being able to log in to a group I follow and ask a question and get some real life answers.  I just can't believe some of the information people post out there.  I mean, I can honestly see where some mothers would prefer to go with formula because it is easier.  What I mean by that is, if you log onto a site like The Leaky B@@b you read about sore nipples, hind milk, fore milk, latching problems, it's enough to have a newbie want to throw in the towel before they get started.  I am glad that the site is there for mothers who are having issues, it really can help a lot of people.  I am just waiting for some of those happy posts.  I want to start a movement where we all just log on and post how wonderful breastfeeding is and how closely bonded you feel to your little ones.  I exclusively breastfeed with Sweet Pea and had planned on it with Wild Man but had to supplement.  I had breast reduction surgery less that two years before having my son, so when I ended up working part time outside the house I could not pump enough.  I breastfed when I was around and was always pumping when I could.  The formula was normally made with breast milk added, but not always.  If I had found these pages at the time, do I think it would have changed anything?  Probably not, and I probably would have felt guilty about having to supplement. 

     But that isn't the main reason I was writing this.  I am floored by how many links I have been sent over the past month regarding little ones who had passed away.  The thing that always gets me is that all the links that I have been sent deal with children either around 3-4 months of age or 3 years of age, so the ages of my children.  Each time I read their story I can't help but cry.  I look at Sweet Pea and Wild Man and can't imagine living without them.  They truly are my life.  But I also have learned over the course of my years that things seem to happen for a reason.  I think what is most devastating about the children I have received links for who have passed on is that all of them are due to causes that have yet to be determined.  The younger ones seem to have succumbed to SIDS.  The 3 year old is yet to be determined.  I think that is what upsets us as mothers the most.  These are things that we couldn't prevent, they just happened.  We are suppose to protect our children from everything.  They are suppose to be the ones who plan our funerals, not the other way around.  My heart truly goes out to the families.  I hope that  I never have to experience anything like the pain of losing a child.  What I also can't imagine is if I was pregnant for the first time and reading all these stories.  I am afraid I would have wanted to put my baby in a bubble, even though that wouldn't necessarily protect them. 

     I am so glad that these mothers do have the connections they have made from Facebook because they will get the support they so badly need at this time, along with finding other mothers who have experienced the same thing.  I hope that all mothers hold their children a little closer each time they receive one of these links and says a few more "I love you's".  It is unfortunate that it takes reading one of these stories to make us stop and put life in perspective.  Our time here is short and precious, we hear that all the time.  So, turn off the Facebook, look at your children.  Are they happy?  Are they healthy?  Do they laugh?  Do you laugh with them?  If you can answer yes to these questions, you are doing things right.  Take what you read on Facebook and file it someplace where you can pull it out later and mull over it, just don't let it suck you in to the bad or the ugly.  Let it help you with the good.

     I will get my grocery shopping match ups on here tomorrow.  For now, I am going to go sleep with my babies!    

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