Tuesday, March 15, 2011

No Name Calling!

     I should really be working on my grocery list and coupons right now, but I had to get something off my chest.  Hopefully I don't lose my following.

     I feel lucky to be able to say that I can let most things slide off my back when it comes to people stating their own opinions on how they do things that may differ from how I do things.  I have made some posts on the blogs and Facebook pages I follow where I have stated what I may have done in that parenting or political or whatever situations.  I state my reasons, if there was an outcome, and I leave it at that.  I normally go back later on to see how the feed has progressed.  If it has started to get heated, I am one of those people who might step in to mention that this should be friendly debate.  I understand where the name calling comes from.  When we make decisions that we feel passionately about, no matter if it is the type of car we drive or how we parent our children, we sometimes blind ourselves to how other people  may come to their decisions.  Then, when someone dares to question our beliefs, we start to go on the defensive.  Yet, that isn't where the name calling even comes it.  The name calling comes in when you can't put into words effectively what you want to say and why you reached that decision.

     I am all for researching decisions.  Heck, I appreciate when most of the pages I follow post information on differing views than my own.  It helps me to understand how some people may choose to parent a certain way, or why they may have certain views politically, religiously, etc.  What I do have a problem with is those same pages, who are trying to educate, posting "informative pages" where they state that those that don't feel the same way are ignorant.  I am not going to state what posting it was tonight that got me off on this little tirade, but it had to do with vaccines.  In the article, as part of trying to explain why vaccinating is horrible, the author felt the need to state that those who vaccinated and didn't understand why someone wouldn't vaccinate are ignorant.  Why she feels the need to classify everyone who vaccinates in this category, I don't know.  I would say that would be ignorant of her, only because you should never classify everyone due to the views of a few.

     I vaccinate my children.  I don't regret it.  I understand why some people would not.  I don't judge.  I have yet to find strong data that proves to me that I should not vaccinate.  I have seen where there have been increases in certain populations in the country of certain diseases that were not very common or had been considered eradicated due to vaccines.  Some research points to the increase in unvaccinated children, but of course, I am sure some children who have been vaccinated are also included in those numbers of children who may have gotten the disease.  As of right now, we know that vaccines don't cause Autism, the scientist even admitted to lying about the results.  I find it hard to believe that vaccines didn't do some good with the fact that we have so many diseases that have not been seen in the U.S. in years.  That is just my view.  I don't think anyone is ignorant.  I know, just from college and working with different researchers that you can get different results when two people do the exact same study.  Nothing is guaranteed, nothing is definite.

     Just to add to the fire, my husband and I chose to circumcise our son.  I don't regret it.  I appreciated how it was done.  My husband and I never really discussed it, we just knew that is what we were going to do.  I knew, from speaking with our chosen pediatrician, that a scalpel would not be used.  It was actually a ring that they wrapped the skin around and it fell off around the same time as his umbilical cord.  I will admit, I didn't research this topic (I know, shock, what kind of mother doesn't research every little detail!) but it felt right for our family and we would do it again. 

     We also bed share with our infant and, many nights, Wild Man also is in bed with us.  Now, as per my previous post, most nights it is just me in the bed, but we do this even when my husband is home.  Again, I didn't research it.  It just happened with my son.  I would feed him in our bed since the pack and play was right next to the bed and I would find myself falling asleep.  My husband did not mind so the pack and play was there for naps or to lay him in so I could do something, but at night he would sleep with us.  Around age 1 was when he started sleeping in his own crib.  We still rocked him all the way to sleep and if he woke during the night, he normally was back in our bed.  He has gone from a toddler bed to a twin bed now and we still go through weeks where he is in our bed more often than his own, but we don't mind.  It has even become a tradition that when my parents come out to stay, he sleeps with them.  I know how he feels.  I remember growing up and feeling lonely in bed and wanting someone to cuddle with.

     So, I know I rambled, it just frustrates me that when someone is passionate about something, they can't seem to keep out the name calling.  I was also frustrated that a page that I like to follow, that normally prides itself on trying to stop the name calling, would then go and post this article, and support it, when it is calling someone like me ignorant.  Just remember, especially during this month of RAOK (Random Acts of Kindness) that words do hurt.  Parenting, and life in general, does not come with a guidebook.  We pick and chose, trip and fall, and blindly feel our way through it.  All in hopes that we make decisions that we don't regret or at least can learn from and that our children can learn from our decisions and mistakes.

    Off to make that grocery list now ;-)

1 comment:

  1. I'm often startled about how black and white people become about those topics. The more I hear about vaccines (which I do), and circumcision (which I haven't had to make that call). I get tired of seeing the words: ignorant, uneducated and stupid being thrown around when someone doesn't agree. And what saddens me the most, is some of the most AP moms are the harshest to other moms. Maybe its because I'm so middle of the road, I expect more out of AP moms. I hope that is it. Otherwise, fantastic post. :-)


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